Cracks start to form.

I remember that morning, when Bitchface arrived, I'd been really proud as I hadn't been smoking. This was before I met her. I said to Health Freak at breakfast, "Every time I've wanted a cigarette, I've been going outside, and having hot water and lemon instead! Aren't you proud of me?" She seemed pleased and encouraging, if a little surprised. I was proud of myself and still feeling good. Then at breakfast, Bitchface got up and embraced Overachiever, a little too warmly for my liking. I couldn't believe it, but at the same time understood it so completely clearly. Everything was clear, clicking into my brain, slotting together, making sense. Of course BF would like OA, and vice versa. Of course they'd have a past together. Of course the one guy I'd felt an instant connection and attraction to would feel that way about the one girl I took an instant dislike to. Of course. Before I knew what was happening, tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't know what to do or where I was going, all I knew was that I needed out of this stuffy, claustrophobic faux primary school breakfast hall right then and there. My legs took me back to the house, across the river. I grabbed my iPod, money, and phone card. I walked the five minutes to the corner store to buy Camels, then realised I didn't have my lighter or enough money for one. The woman in the store, in an Alaska T-shirt, who chitchatted when I asked her about it, telling me her son went to university there, was so kind and cheery, handing me her lighter to keep. I told her I couldn't thank her enough. I must have looked teary, I bet she could tell I was just having one of those days, when everything is going wrong, but at the time I didn't realise this, and was just taken aback by how nice the people round here were. But looking back she must've known I was upset. I blasted Kelis and Nicki Minaj as I walked back, much slower, savouring my smokes, trying to gather myself together. I got back to the house and everyone crowded around, asking if I was okay, what was wrong. I said I was fine now and needed to be alone. Either before I'd left breakfast, or after, (I don't remember,) I rushed to the office and rang Jacky. I was still using the cheap phone card then, and unfortunately it cut out after just a few minutes. I let myself cry, telling him all I felt about OA and BF: how she just embodied and reminded me of everything I hate in girls, how typical it was that they has a past. Sometime during this short call, BF's face appeared at the window. It was obvious I was crying and upset, but she said nothing, just looked surprised, and ran back to the main house. I feel sure that she and possibly some others then listened into my conversation with Jack, which would be perfectly possible as there was only one outside line, which I wasn't using. All the others hooked up to the same line, enabling easy eavesdropping. I don't know how much, what, or even if they heard, but obviously this doubt didn't make me feel at ease or any better, when I was already feeling panicked and anxious by BF's arrival. Jacky reassured me, sounding worried, but saying how it didn't matter, I could still just shag OA and forget him, and I remember agreeing, saying how I didn't want a relationship with him, and reiterating our philosophy of hit it and quit it, but it was just hard as all the memories of awful girls came back when I first saw BF with her arms wrapped tight around him. I went to smoke after the call cut out, checking my phone absentmindedly, not expecting anything, but realising I was in signal range. I had a text from Jacky, telling me he hoped I would be okay, to try not to worry and that everything would be alright. I tried to reply, but my phone wouldn't pick up any signal for me to send my text.